Abuse, Domestic Violence, Gaslighting

Gas-lighting the manipulation of people and events to create reality

During the past three and a half years I have done a lot of healing and coming to understand what has been done to me. It has been a long journey and it has been horrifically physically and emotionally painful. Over this period of healing, I began to access memories of my childhood and talks I had with my dad in my teens and adult years.

I began to realize that basically, other than my children pretty much my entire life has been a set up. From me becoming an artist, to the type of education I received and who delivered that education. To what man I married, and then what man I was passed off to. It's all be a series of manipulations, abuses, gas lighting, lieing, and strategy to force me into a position in which I would be forced to file the Supreme Court case to fulfill other peoples "agenda's". When I say other peoples I really mean "my father's".

What I mean by this is I remember a conversation with my father years ago. He was infuriated that Indiana stopped teaching the Constitution in the schools and no longer made it a requirement that each student know and pass the constitution test in order to graduate.  I remember he said "hmm...we'll just see about that,  someday that's going to bite them in the ass". He went on to say that every american citizen must know their rights in order to know when their rights have been denied or violated. If people do know know and protect their rights we will eventually lose those rights and that is no legacy to leave for future generations.

What I am saying is, I do not know how but my father has set me up to follow a series of events that lead me to now. What has been done to me is not natural fate, it's artificial. I was not just set-up I was groomed, throughout my life I was taught the law and other important things I would need to know in order to navigate the situation for this reason. It has taken a ungodly number of people who have touched my life in one way or another and years of learning and listening in addition to handling life events to get me to the point I am at right now.

Basically, my father saw Indiana's not teaching the Constitution in schools and not making it a requirement that they pass a test on the Constitution and have to pass it in order to graduate as an opportunity to teach them a lesson in civics.

The only way that can be done is by "Creating a Lawsuit". In creating that lawsuit you also "create an attorney" which I had learned was supposed to be me.

In other words he manipulated people into helping him and as a result I have been used, abused, jailed, tortured, keep in isolation for far to long, abandoned, and alienated.

When I was growing up my father instilled things into me. He purposefully taught me certain things, some of these things he taught me by discussion other things he used symbolism and other's were life events that he himself caused or did to me in order to teach me a life lesson. The reality is my father set out to build a power house and he succeeded. I did not see it before, I really didn't but through my journey of healing I saw it and it is a wonderful feeling.

I am a Powerhouse

When I say he built a power house what I mean is, I have the legal skills necessary to handle the situation. I was taught the law and how to apply it. I was taught the constitution and scenarios were given to me and gone over so that I could do this job. I have the art, media, and design skills to handle marketing. I have the direct mail and direct response skills needed to do sales if I had to, I have the web and tech skills needed to handle the server administration. I have the SEO skills needed for search engine rankings and I have the other skills I would need to run any kind of business. I was taught these things in some of the oddest of ways but the reality is, I am a power house.

I have a thorough understanding of various facets of law from family law, to criminal, contract law, business law, civil torts, and of course the constitution.  Most importantly, I was taught how to find the resources or answers to questions if needed if I don't know the answer.

I was made to do presentations and speeches most of which I did impromptu all throughout College, skills needed to handle this situation.

What I am saying is, my father planned to have my children taken from me over 20 years ago, and me put in jail and have to fight it out to the Supreme Court. Then he proceeded to groom me for the task. Manipulate others into doing the wrong thing and then telling me what they were up to so that I would catch them at it.  He also somehow proceeded to put things into motion with the help of Cathy, Robert, Ed, Tony that he was able to "artificially make" things happen to me.

Let's take the poisoning of me.

One example of this is the June 2012 Poisoning of me and Unlawful Seizure of me and placement in North-Lake for 72 hr Observation for reporting that I believed that I was being Poisoned because I was poisoned. However, my father had informed me prior that if I were to figure out that I was being poisoned that was what the plan B that Lesley and Ed had pre-planned to do with me. When it happened I was confused, angry, and mostly betrayed. I went to file a divorce right away but then Ed strangulated me and I became to scared to not stay with him. I was afraid I would lose my daughters just like I have.

My dad calls and tells me a story that I am going to be poisoned by Ed for life insurance and that to sweeten the pot my father offered to double the life insurance payout if Ed produced a death certificate by 3:00 am on June 10th 2012.

I become deathly ill, constantly running to the bathroom going to the doctors, undergoing testing to figure out what is wrong and not getting better.

I find a bucket of poison in the basement and I question Ed about it, the bucket vanishes from the basement. Then he tried to tell me there was never a bucket of poison in the basement in the first place. However, Alyssa also saw the bucket and also saw that it was missing and she stated such.

The week of June 10th 2012 comes and I become very Ill after Ed's mom's visit the weekend before. During the week I also become sick and it gets continually worse. I believe I am being poisoned, I become scared and feel stuck.

I eventually end up going to the police in Worth. My ex-sister in law who is a psychologist had participated in the Gas Lighting of me and who assisted my ex-husband in nearly getting away with my murder. Told the police I was unstable so I was placed in the Psychiatric ward of North Lake Hospital for 4 days. I was released after the "observation" timeline un-diagnosed.

I then informed local police who also did not want to believe even though they were shown hard evidence they refused to investigate or take my reports seriously.

Here is the part I want to explain to you; I had thought back to when my dog Shadow was a puppy and she had accidentally Eaton a half of block of mouse poison. Ed and I freaked out and called poison control, while on the phone they told Ed it would take approximately 60 blocks of poison to kill the dog because of her weight.

I believe Ed used this information to his advantage. I believe I was poisoned but I believe it was being done to me to make me sick, dependent, needy, and so he could exert power and control over me and as part of gas-lighting. It was hateful, sinister, and pure evil.

The Poison was purchased by Ed

I found a bucket of dusting powder poison in my basement. I was with Ed when he purchased approximately 30 packets of poison from Meijer that he claimed were for the garage that has a  huge hole in it that he did not repair. Why put poison in the garage but not fix the garage door so it closes all the way? Because the poison wasn't for the garage that is why.  Furthermore, I gave this a great deal of thought and honestly, I don't care what was being given to me. I don't care if it was eye-drops, ex-lax, poison. The fact is I was so unbelievably sick it was not funny. I was wasting, I was weak, and on more than one occasion I thought I was going to die.


The other issue is my father had claimed that Ed had not only killed Shadow by pushing her down the stairs to the basement but he had also been using her as a test subject to figure out how much poison he could get away with giving me to make me as sick as possible. In other words my father claimed that the source of at least some of Shadow's three hour long seizures were the result of Ed poisoning the dog and not a result of epilepsy. My father felt that the longer I stayed sick I was at his mercy. I was also blind to everything going on around me because I was so caught up in being sick and at one point I was bedridden. He went on to say that he believed that Ed had a form of Munchhausen Bi-proxy.


I think Ed had a case of he wanted to be with Annie, and have the kids, and the house and he just hated me and wanted me dead and nearly succeeded.  Ed didn't want to pay child support, so he figured out a way where he didn't have to.

Gas-lighting to cover up their crimes

What I am saying is, I am dealing with a group of people who have been constantly and continually gas-lighting me my entire life. They have lied to people about me so that no one would believe me because the things that they have done are literally that crazy sounding. The reality is unless I can get someone to do something about the situation my life will never be my own, and it will always be a disaster. The only way I know to fix the situation is to address the issues and try and get people to understand that these things happened as crazy as they sound .part of why it sounds so crazy is because they purposefully set out to make it crazy sounding so no one would believe a word I said. Then further defame my character (which is part of gas-lighting) by locking me up in psych wards and telling officials that I all of a sudden at age 42 suffer from psychosis or skizoeffective disorder which is completely untrue. But has been said in an effort to shut me up and to keep those who have committed crimes and are doing the gas-lighting from being prosecuted for their crimes.

No one wants to go to jail. Not for any reason, not for any cause.

The way that I know this is in my father's word's "Ain't no man want to go to jail, not for any reason, not for any cause". Two thing no man wants to do one is die, the other is go to jail.

What I am trying to convey to you is my father is a criminal, my stepmother, and two ex-husbands have helped them and in an effort to get away with their crimes and exert power and control over me and stifle me so that I will always be their victim they have lied and those lies and rumors are atrocious and are apart of gas-lighting.

From what I understand before I was born my father was in a Chicago Greeser Gang called the KINGS. He also allegedly assisted my grandmother in poisoning family members for life insurance. This has been told to me many times. Essentially, what I am telling you is my father has told me multiple times that he is a serial killer and that he and my grandmother had conspired to kill and killed family members for life insurance proceeds.

I was told that my grandmother had also targeted me for the same. My father was not in agreement and told my grandmother if anything happened to me he would put her in jail. She tried to convince him that I was handicapped and that I would be a burden on him his whole life.

My father had thought by putting his foot down and telling my grandmother no, that had put an end to the problem.

Enlisting Anthony Victors to help

Later, he learned that my grandmother had in fact poisoned my oatmeal. He also found out that she had apparently reached out to other people to ask them for assistance. Most people she just asked if they would not question my death in exchange for some of the Insurance Money.  One of the people she reached out to was Wesley Victor's my ex-husband Anthony Victors father. I also believe she reached out to Anthony himself as well.

Reaching out to others for help like my stepmother Cathy Smith

Wes Victors told my grandmother that on no uncertain terms he would not help her and that he would see to it she spent the rest of her life in jail if she touched one hair on my head. She also reached out to my stepmother Cathy Portencaso, Schade, Butterfield, Smith,  Boettcher.

My father said my grandmother had offered Cathy some of the money from any life insurance proceeds. My father claimed that Cathy had been with him for the sole purpose of getting to me and causing me harm. My grandmother similar to Ed and Tony acted like she hated Cathy unless she had a use for her which is how my grandmother was.

Reaching out to Wes Victors

Wes Victors died in 2004, and his wife Barbra died 11 months later in 2005. I was very close to them and attribute much of who I am to Barbra. One of the things my father has said to me repeatedly is that Wes Victors is not dead and that his body is not in the grave where it belongs. My father claimed Wes faked his death. I was there when Wes Victors was buried and saw him in the casket and then placed into the ground.

As for Wes, during one of my phone calls with my dad he reminded me that I had found a dead body in the basement of the apartment building where we lived in Palos Hills Il. I was sixteen years old.  When I found the body for whatever reason I turned around walked back up the stairs and called Barbra and Wes to come to my house and pick me up. My father was not home at the time.

Wes and Barb picked me up and brought me back to their house. Tony was not there he was at soccer practice. Mom was in the kitchen and she and I were talking I was pretty freaked out. I went down to the laundry room in Tony's house and Wes was in there and he had his pants open and tried to grab at me. I screamed and Barbra walked into the Laundry room and yelled at him to take his hands off of me. I ran into the downstairs bathroom and refused to come out unless it was my dad. Barbra called my dad and had him pick me up. When he did he was driving my grandmothers car. I asked him where his truck was and he said he had left it at grandma's. I told him what happened and he told me that sometimes these things happen and to try and just forget that the entire night ever happened. He told me to go home and go to bed and close my eyes and just forget about it.

That's exactly what happened. 

The next day I had some memory of the events of the day before. I almost said something to Tony about it but I couldn't bring myself to say what needed to be said. It was like I couldn't utter the words. I never told him, I couldn't tell him because I had blocked it out with psychogenic amnesia and my father seems to have that effect on me.

Because I had blocked it out and nothing was ever said everyone went on as if nothing ever happened. It was as though the entire night never occurred. I had no memory of finding any body, nor did I have any memory of  Wes trying to do anything with me. Since I had no memory I ended up looking up to Wes and valuing him as a person in my life like a mentor or second father figure because my father was always sleeping and didn't want to talk he just wanted to yell. Wes taught me much of the business I know, he taught me most of my vocabulary. I viewed him as very successful, intelligent and I looked up to the man. Until, the memory came back of what he had done.

During the phone call in which my father reminded me of finding the dead body and the other events of the night he informed me that the reason he didn't have the truck was because it was at grandma's house with the dead body in it that I had found in the basement. He stated that later that night after I went to bed he took the body to the Cal Sag and tossed it in.

I do not know if he was gas-lighting, or being honest but I found the body.

As far as the poisoning of me goes, only the persons who were doing the poisoning know what their true intentions were. However, it is a perfect example of how my father and his co-horts keep setting up these situations, and setting me up at the same time and then causing these things to happen to force me into positions in which I have to file lawsuits and air my entire life story out to the world just to obtain justice because my father thought it was a bad idea that the schools in Indiana stopped teaching the Constitution 30+ years ago and he saw them as a sitting duck for a lawsuit. Since I have been ignored and my children have been taken illegally from me and authorities did not listen I have no choice but to take this situation to the top. The Supreme Court.














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